Embarrassing Intoxication
by TheQueenofBooks1000
Summary: Cody finds out that a drunk Noah is a weird Noah. And that a stuffed emu can somehow be related to this situation. NoCo. Rated T for use of alcohol, but nothing too bad.


**Hey, dudes. I miss writing NoCo, so here ya go. :)**

**Written for Tami the Scene Queen.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TOTAL DRAMA**

* * *

Cody's brows furrowed when he saw that the door to his dorm room was unlocked.

That was really strange. His roommate, Noah, always instructed him to lock the doors.

"I mean, not that I care about your junk," Noah had said, in his usual aloof way, "but my laptop has all my life's work—not to mention my thesis papers. And if you want to keep your stuffed emu safe, then locking the door helps, too."

Cody had blushed when he said that. He was in _college, _for God's sake. He really needs to let go of Jerry the Emu, who he had since he was a little kid.

Except…he can't. Dammit.

So imagine his surprise, in addition to the unlocked door, when he saw Jerry being cuddled by…_Noah?_

The geek silently closed the door and slowly walked to the couch Noah was lying on. "Noah?" Cody whispered. "What the hell are you doing to my emu?"

Noah's eyes slowly opened. "Oh, hee-ey, Cody," he slurred. "You look awesome."

Cody's looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"I really like you…" the cynic muttered.

Cody's eyes widened. "What?!"

"I mean…I really like gorilla milkshakes." Uttering a weak laugh, Noah hugged Jerry tighter, and closed his eyes again.

"Dude," Cody said, eyeing the emu in his roommate's arms, "you do know that PETA could bust you for that, right?"

Scanning the room, Cody caught the sight of a bottle perched on the coffee table. "Oh!" he said in realization. "You're drunk, huh?"

"That's right, hunny," the usually sarcastic boy mumbled, his eyes still closed. Cody swore that he really said the word to sound like 'hunny' and not 'honey.'

"Uh…" Cody backed away awkwardly from his intoxicated friend. "Do you need to be alone, or something?"

"Nahh," Noah drawled. "Here, g-grab the bottle and have drink, eh?"

The geeky college student cautiously took the bottle from the table and took a light sip. His throat burned as the liquid surged through it.

"Oh, man!" Cody gasped, coughing up most of the alcohol. "That burns, Noah."

Noah finally opened his eyes. "Newbie," he scoffed, sounding almost like his sober self. "That's just vodka. Wait'll you get a taste of the liquor." Suddenly, his eyes lit up and, much to Cody's surprise and horror, he began singing, "Liquor! Oh, I looooove you! I think you taste like my shoooooooe! I wanna bang some liquor!"

"Stop, stop," Cody groaned, covering his ears. "I never thought I'd say this, man, but you're even worse than usual." He flopped down the couch and turned the TV on using the remote control.

"Turn that off," Noah snapped, drunkenly reaching for the remote, which Cody brought out of his reach.

"Whatever," the cynic muttered. He snatched the bottle from the table and took another swig. Cody watched him, intrigued.

"How could you do that without coughing?" he wondered. On impulse, he grabbed the bottle and took a swig, trying to imitate what Noah did. It burned his throat immediately, and he spewed the alcoholic beverage on the carpet, coughing as he did so.

"Stop wasting my drink," Noah grumbled. He paused. "Heeey, I think that's the formaldehyde from the chem lab."

"WHAT?"

"Lol, just kidding," Noah muttered.

Cody knew that Noah was _seriously _drunk, because a normal Noah would not, under any circumstance, say _lol._

He turned, and saw Noah watching him with his deep brown eyes. "You know," Noah slurred, "you so hot. Like my pet spider back home…oh wait, that's Dunbar…no, Dunbar's the guy from _Catch-22…_oh! Duncan!"

"I'm hot…like _Duncan?" _Cody repeated, repulsed. Although surprisingly, he was repulsed because he was compared to that annoying delinquent, of all people, and not because he was just called hot by a drunk dude.

"No, nooo…who's Duncan? I said you're like the spider! You're a _hot _spider, though…" His eyes snapped open suddenly. "Are you Tyler?"

"Um…"

Suddenly, Noah's eyes caught Cody's. Without another word, he leaned forward and kissed his roommate.

Cody was shocked, but not for the reasons you may think.

Because, damn, Noah was a great kisser.

"Okay, okay," Cody muttered when Noah pulled away. "That was so weird, but you're drunk anyway, so you probably won't mind…" The geek leaned towards Noah again and their lips were engulfed in a fiery passion.

And Jerry the Emu just sat there, like a stuffed emu would.

* * *

The next day, Noah woke up, his head pounding like hell and his ears ringing like crazy.

What happened last night? The dark-haired bookworm scanned the room, trying to remember. A TV, on and blaring out the news, bunk beds, a vodka bottle, Cody, a stuffed emu…

_Cody? _That's when he realized that they were cuddling—_cuddling—_on the couch. Noah let out a shout of surprise and stood up, and, because of his headache, fell over. Cody, who was deeply asleep, rolled down the couch on top of him.

Forunately (or unfortunately) they were both fully clothed. Unfortunately (or fortunately) Cody was sprawled all over Noah, snoring like a baby. Noah grunted and shoved him off.

Cody woke up, groggily rubbing his eyes. "Noah, what—"

Suddenly his eyes widened, as the memory of last night came rushing back. Noah also had the same memory. Kissing Cody. Talking about gorillas. Kissing Cody. Kissing…a stuffed emu?

"What the hell, dude?" Noah groaned. "Why did you kiss me last night?"

"Me?" Cody shot back. "_You _were the one who started it!"

"No, you did!"

"No, you!"

Cody sighed, rubbing his temples. "I was drunk, okay?"

"Last time I checked, putting vodka in your mouth and spitting it out after two seconds doesn't make you drunk," Noah said flatly, as more memories began flooding his brain. He sighed and massaged his throbbing skull.

Cody leaned on the coffee table. He found Jerry and absently fiddled with his beak. "So," he began, too ashamed to look at Noah. "Are we still both straight?"

When Noah didn't answer, Cody looked up, and saw that the bookworm was shifting uncomfortably. "I was never straight," Noah admitted.

Cody was…well, he wasn't really surprised, but he decided to act surprised just to be nice. "Really?"

"Yeah. You?"

Cody paused. "Well, I liked Gwen…but she was actually the only _girl_ I ever liked. I liked…some guys…"

"Oh."

The two roommates stared at each other.

"This is awkward," Cody clarified.

"No, it's the most soothing situation I have ever had the privilege of encountering," Noah said sarcastically, and winced. "Dude, could you get me some water? I feel dehydrated."

Cody sighed. "Sure. So, wanna play video games?"

"Fine. Want to eat lunch afterwards?" Noah asked in return.

"Okay."

"Okay."

They paused. Cody got Noah a glass of water and watched as he drank it.

"Wanna be together?" Cody finally blurted out.

Noah spit the water out, landing on the carpet, right on the spot where Cody spat the vodka the previous night.

"You are so cleaning that carpet," Noah grumbled, wiping the water from his chin.

"What do you say?" Cody asked anxiously. "I mean, last night, well…it was…I think I got to know you better."

"Correction. You got to know the _drunk _me better."

"Why don't we just give it a try?" Cody persisted. "I never…well, I never felt like that before, Noah. You…"

"Say the infamous Tom Cruise line and I am going to maim your face," Noah threatened. Then he sighed. "Cody, I'm terrible with relationships."

"Which is why we need to try it out," Cody said. "C'mon, man, I really like you."

Noah cracked a rare smile, instead of his usual trademark smirk. "Fine." He leaned forward and kissed Cody on the lips, to which the latter enthusiastically responded to.

And Jerry the Emu just sat there, like a stuffed emu would.

* * *

**Um. That was…weird. Look, I've never been drunk, and I've never hung out with a drunk person…so I'm not really sure if the junk I'm writing is accurate. _Why _Noah was drinking in the first place...well, use your imagination. *Spongebob with rainbow comes in* Oh, and Sierra mentioned Cody owning a stuffed emu named Jerry, remember? Anyway, please review!**


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